5% of statistics are made up. Like this one

Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s not worth the jail time.

Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Dear Lord… please give me some patience NOW…NOW…NOW….

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde

We just promise to put up with each other’s annoying habits forever.

Birthday candles aren't the only things getting lit this weekend.

“The only time I feel light-hearted is when I’m on a plane at 33,000 feet.” – Robert Rivers

“Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.” – Bettina Arndt

I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

“You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” – Hussein Nishah

Old enough that I need a filter on this photo.

Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.