A best friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.

Summer is here. I’m in the process of moving all my bad habits outdoors

“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.” – H. Jackson Brown

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

If you can't remember my name, just say, 'chocolate' and I'll turn around.

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances. – Suze Orman

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

Make the most out of tonight, and worry ‘bout it all tomorrow.

I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

Wake up extra early so that you and your kids can still be 20 minutes late wherever you go.

Gonna party like it's my birthday... oh wait, it is!

All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” – Lily Tomlin

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of an emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.