A cop pulled me over and told me Papers, so I said Scissors, I win! And drove off.

“Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” – Thomas Dewar

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” – Margaret Thatcher

“Girl, you can’t get no infection in your booty hole! It’s a booty hole!” – Girls Trip

I’ve never been cool and I don’t really care about being cool. It’s just an awful lot of time and hair gel wasted

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

What did one snowman say to the other one? “Do you smell carrots?”

“Live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” – Will Rogers

Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.

Not all girls are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. Some are made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.

It’s hard being the brain and the looks in the relationship, but I always pull through.

Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again.

You owe me money, but yes, please tell me all about your fabulously expensive weekend.

If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. – Nora Ephron

“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.