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If at first you don’t succeed, maybe skydiving isn’t your sport.
One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.
“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” – Cindy Garner
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
Math made simple. If you have $20 and your wife has $5, she has $25.
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
You are a serious rock star, but you need much more efforts to start my rock.
My dog is mad at me because they could smell another dog on my clothes.
I hope the birthday cake is as sweet as our friendship.
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing “k” instead of “ok”?
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
Every 60 seconds, there’s a b-tch posting a positive message that she doesn’t live by.
5% of statistics are made up. Like this one
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Even the most beautiful people will have at least some insecurity, whether they admit it or not.
“Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.” – Samuel Johnson
If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.
You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.
Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.
There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them.
Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train.
The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.
One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.
To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.
We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment.
The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.
