A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe. – Rita Rudner

The wife says to her husband, “You wanna change positions tonight?” He says, “Yeah!”. She says, “Okay, you do the dishes, and I will sit on the couch and fart.”

I knew it was meant to be when I loved you even when I was hungry.

People say nothing is impossible. But I do nothing every day!

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Best friends. Because of anyone else heard our conversations we’d end up in the mental hospital.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure

I don’t want to be in a relationship, also I would rather be in a Range Rover.

This is the exact kind of couple post that single me would have rolled my eyes at.

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature. – Letters to Juliet, the movie.

“If you are going through hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell?” – Steve Harvey

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

My children have my husband’s eyes. They can’t see what’s right in front of them either.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.

I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through 47 walls, and haunt our enemies.

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.