A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!

I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time

People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you've got two hands.

I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee and then after that still please don’t talk to me.

“Don’t you find it a little bit (of a) coincidence that the body fell perfectly within the chalk outline on the floor?”

My demons hide in my loudness. So if you don’t want the evil to come out, don’t shut me down in a very sarcastic manner.

Friends are the bacon bits of the salad bowl of life.

You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.

99% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell

I’m stuck between ‘I need to save money’ and ‘You only live once.’

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

“There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.” -Linda Grayson

Happy birthday. May your Facebook be filled with messages from people you never talk to.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.