“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of an emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.

Real friends don't care if your room is clean. They’re the ones messing it up.

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances. – Suze Orman

Every 60 seconds, there's a girl posting a positive message that she doesn't live by.

Marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they won’t eat all of yours.

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles

“You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.” – Solomon Schechter

My husband thinks I am (just a little bit) crazy. But I am not the one who married me.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot todo.

“Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.” — Jay Leno

You can’t buy a business but you can buy a plane ticket and that’s kind of the same thing.

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

“Hey don’t be sad! Because sad backwards is das—and das not good!”

“Oh no, my toddler got my phone, took this perfectly posed (but candid!)

My friends are the family I chose. And I’ve regretted that choice ever since.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.