Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies.

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you, too. So we’re even.

“You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way.” – Michael Jordan

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Marriage is finding the person who puts up with your shit, admires your weird little ways, and still says they love you at the end of the day.

When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.

You can tell how much someone likes you by the number of times they show up in your selfies.

During the day I didn’t believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.

I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite remarkable.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

When your happiness is less important than the other person’s happiness, my friend you are in love.

What did one snowman say to the other one? “Do you smell carrots?”

“No matter how close, you are always too far. My eyes are drawn everywhere you are…” ― Cora Carmack, Losing It

Thinking I’m a moron gives people something to feel smug about. Why should I disillusion them?

“I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.” – Winston Churchill

The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.