Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.

Make sure to savor all your special moments, step outside of yourself, and bask in your own presence, while it’s still present.

Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s actually Tuesday.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength, I’ll need bail money too.

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

I know you’re a man so you have to do the whole “It’s nothing,” thing… but I really wish you’d share your feelings so I could invalidate them.

I’d love to be a Pinterest mom. But it turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money.

“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michael de Montaigne

Why is it that we tend to take relationships for granted? We unconsciously think it can take care of itself. But love neglected is the start of indifference.

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments.

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

“I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” – The Devil Wears Prada

“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” –  Bill Cosby

Listening to a wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still, you say: “I agree.”

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.