During the day I didn’t believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

They say don’t try this at home. So, I tried it at my friend’s home.

“For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones

I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” – Gandhi

Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.

I'm not lazy, I'm just on save energy mode.

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Best friends. Because of anyone else heard our conversations we’d end up in the mental hospital.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time. I have terrible judgment.”

You lost your phone and it’s on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.

When your ex texts you after months, “Hey, what’s up?”. Not today Satan, not today.

Make milkshakes they said, the boys will come to your yard they said.

Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.

Whoever thinks money doesn’t bring happiness, transfer it over to my account.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.