Every day I fall in love with you more and more. Except for yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.

These two weirdos are perfect for each other.

“Things worth having are worth waiting for.” – Me, preheating the oven.
Diet tip: Don’t.

What does Charles Dickens keep in this spice rack? The best of Thymes, and the worst of Thymes.

“Insanity is hereditary – you get it from your kids.” – Sam Levenson

To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.

“When we got married, I told my wife ‘If you leave me, I’m going with you.’ And she never did.” — James Fineous McBride

Marriage is like a good cardio workout. If it’s never challenging, you’re probably not doing it right.

“Showing myself at my worst so the next selfie I post, you’ll all be astounded by my stunning transformation.”

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

I’m usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now

You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”

Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.