For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh

“For a long and happy marriage, my advice to the groom is to always say, “okay, buy it!”

“Come on up here, darlin’. We could use a little sump’m around here besides the smell of lumber.” –  The Notebook

I try not to work too many Sunday. At least, not Sunday nights. I like to call them Sunday Fundays.

“Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.” – Samuel Johnson

You have to love yourself, first, before anyone else can love you

After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF.

99% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it.

Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

Friends knock on the door, true friends walk into your house and start eating.

“Don’t you find it a little bit (of a) coincidence that the body fell perfectly within the chalk outline on the floor?”

Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say.

If there would be an award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me!

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life, wives wants both.

A best friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.