Going to bed early. Not going to a party. Not leaving my house. My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.

“Marriage is like an unfunny tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.” – Knocked Up

You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.

If you set impossible goals you’ll never be disappointed when you fail.

They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.

I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.

“The more money you make the more problems you get.” – Christopher George Latore Wallace

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

I thought I was indecisive while choosing this photo but now I’m not so sure.

Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.

I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

“We owe a lot to Thomas Edison – if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight.” – Milton Berle

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

I’d like to thank Red Bull, Google, Vodka, and Wikipedia for my graduation.

One of the few people on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.

The right dress and makeup can make a girl hang in Christmas tree through the happiest times of her life.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.