I am not feeling lazy actually. Actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.

Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.

These two make such a gouda couple. Now, point me in the direction of the charcuterie plate.

“Children are a great comfort in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too.” –  Lionel Kauffman

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” – Margaret Thatcher

I couldn’t afford to take kids to the sea world so I took them to the fish market and said, ” Shh… They’re sleeping.”

“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” -Confucius

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along!

Worrying about your followers, you need to get yo ur dollars up.

Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.

You owe me money, but yes, please tell me all about your fabulously expensive weekend.

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

“In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.” – Woody Allen

Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. – Nora Ephron

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.