I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

My favorite music is your voice. The lyrics always speak right to my heart.

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.

I used to have functioning brain cells but I traded them in for children.

I may look calm, but in my mind, I have killed you three times.

“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.” – Francois de la Rochefoucauld

“I ain’t got lotta money but I got a lotta style.” —Fifth Harmony, “Top Down”

We’re all born a little crazy, some of us just choose to stay that way.

I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

“Honey? Where’s my super suit?” – The Incredibles

Finding friends with the same level of crazy is priceless.

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe eat cake.

Nothing is cooler and more attractive than a big comeback, and that’ll be me

I have to be successful because I love expensive shit.

Thanks for not paying me back the money you owe me. Sure I want my money back but I would have paid more to prove what a scumbag you are.

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.