I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

My teacher pointed to me with his ruler and said At the end of this ruler there is an idiot! … I got detention after asking which end!

“No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.” – Benjamin Disraeli

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft

There are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: “Hold my purse.”

I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF.

Feeling like a boss, and staring at the stars, it doesn’t matter the cost, ’cause everybody wants to be famous. — Everybody Wants to Be Famous by Superorganism

“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.” – Erma Bombeck

No point in holding onto what’s broken, so let’s live in the moment. When one door closes, another one opens. Stop trying to control it and start living in the moment

Real friends don't care if your room is clean. They’re the ones messing it up.

This may be the night that my dreams might let me know… All the stars are closer. — All the Stars by Kendrick Lamar & SZA

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” – Mother Teresa

One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong-willed. But that will not be today. Not in this grocery store.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.