“I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.” – Winston Churchill

If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.

Lifehack #321: Keep cake fresh by eating it in one sitting.

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.

“It’s complicated—our drink order, that is. The relationship is great!”

You know that feeling when the really cute girl walks by in the mall, and you smile, try to be smooth, and take a drink of tea, and run the straw up your nose?

The ideal man goes home early, doesn’t flirt, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t gamble, and doesn’t exist.

Congrats on making it o-fish-ial. Now, there are two less fish in the sea.

Money laundering? I wouldn’t even know what soap to use.

You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.

Your drama does not pay my bills therefore it is not worth my time.

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe eat cake.

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. – James Dent

Listening to a wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still, you say: “I agree.”

Real friends don't care if your room is clean. They’re the ones messing it up.

I am not taking a selfie, I am just checking my camera quality.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.