I haven’t posted a selfie in a while but I still am very cute just to keep you updated.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy

I have let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he’ll see me.

Marriage is 5% love, 5% compromise, and 90% knowing when you’ve already lost an argument and just folding the laundry for once, Ted.

Newspaper Ad. For Sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 or best offer!

I hope you dance like no one’s watching because they’re not—they’re taking selfies.

“I got a haircut! It went so well I went ahead and had all my hairs cut!”

We’re going to make a cute old couple. At least I hope so because we’re not looking too great right now.

Did you say pancakes?!My bed is a magical place. As soon as I jump into it, it reminds me of all the things I haven’t yet completed.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” – Barbara Streisand

I thought I was indecisive while choosing this photo but now I’m not so sure.

Never let a man treat you like anything less than Beyoncé.

Who washed and waxed their truck in this lovely 32-degree weather? Yes, that’s right! Me!

“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle

Sometimes I feel like giving up then I realize I have a lot of motherfuckers to prove wrong.

“Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.” — Jay Leno

I drink to make other people more interesting.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.