I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

I have let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he’ll see me.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time. I have terrible judgment.”

Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

We just promise to put up with each other’s annoying habits forever.

What did one ornament say to another? ‘I like hanging with you.’

You go to school, nothing happens. You miss one day, Beyonce shows up unannounced

“Don’t you find it a little bit (of a) coincidence that the body fell perfectly within the chalk outline on the floor?”

Good morning beautiful! I hope I didn’t wake you and I’m sorry if I did but I just want to tell you that you’re an amazing and beautiful person and I hope you have a great day!

Started not to give a stopped fearing the consequence.

In the event that you don’t have anything decent to say, come sit by me, and we can ridicule individuals together

There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work n Mondays.

You have to love yourself, first, before anyone else can love you

I hope one day I will love something the way women in commercials love yogurt.

‘You all worked really hard this year, I’m giving you all a check for $2,000. If you work the same next year, I’ll sign them’.

Victoria’s Secret models, we're comin’ for your careers.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.