I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didn’t even know.

When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.

90% of parenting is about when you can lie down again.

She's been breaking hearts since [year of birth].

Chin up darling, your tiara’s falling. It’s your birthday!

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.

“For a long and happy marriage, my advice to the groom is to always say, “okay, buy it!”

“If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.” – Katherine Mansfield

They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

People trying too hard to be cool often end up becoming a joke

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

My dog is mad at me because they could smell another dog on my clothes.

Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.

The best kind of wedding is one that leaves your bellies (and hearts) full.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.