I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

Wake up extra early so that you and your kids can still be 20 minutes late wherever you go.

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

“I’d hate to get to the end of my life and think “I could have eaten that!”

Somewhere along the way, I became a person who answers, “Yes” to the question, “Can I just put my dirty tissue in your pocket?

There are 100 billion nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them

“Things worth having are worth waiting for.” – Me, preheating the oven.
Diet tip: Don’t.

Don't count the years — make the years count.

“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” – Cindy Garner

Be picky with your men as you are with your selfies.

“Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” – Ray Kroc

The reason women will never be the ones to propose is that as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping. Men will be men.

I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together. — A.R. Asher

You could not handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!

A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!

This is by far your worst idea ever… I’ll be there in 15 minutes.

One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.