I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.

Smart motherfuckers know when to play stupid in front of people.

“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” – Andy Warhol

I hope the birthday cake is as sweet as our friendship.

Your drama does not pay my bills therefore it is not worth my time.

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.

“Love is like a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

“Oh no, my toddler got my phone, took this perfectly posed (but candid!)

“Love me or hate me, i swear it won’t make or break me.” ― Lil Wayne

My dog is mad at me because they could smell another dog on my clothes.

Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.

“For a guy with a four-digit IQ, I must have missed something.” – Limitless

“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Happy birthday. May your Facebook be filled with messages from people you never talk to.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.