I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

The reason women will never be the ones to propose is that as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping. Men will be men.

Well, well, well. Look what finally decided to show up. Hello Friday!

You could not handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!

“Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.” – Robert Bloch

“To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose is the next best thing.” – William M. Thackeray

We make a really great couple. Well, at least that’s what everyone’s saying.

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, maybe it really is a duck. Either accept it for what it is or let it go.

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” – Margaret Thatcher

A man yells t his wife:
“Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery.” “Oh wonderful!”, she says. “Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?”. The husband replies, “I don’t care, just get out!”

Mirror: you look amazing today. Camera: No, you don’t.

Thank you, Tinder. We didn’t meet on there but it definitely taught me who not to date.

The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive. – Coco Chanel

Every 60 seconds, there’s a b-tch posting a positive message that she doesn’t live by.

Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.

“It’s not a man-purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.” – The Hangover

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.