I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time

“Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.” – Charles M. Schulz

I am not feeling lazy actually. Actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” – Maya Angelou

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip“

I’d tell a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright

I discovered I’m actually planning two weddings – the one inspired by Pinterest and the one I can actually afford.

A good friend is there to bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting next to you in the cell.

“I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” – The Devil Wears Prada

Every time I say “no”, my kids hears, “ask again, she didn’t understand the question.”

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.” – Amy Vanderbilt

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

“The only time I feel light-hearted is when I’m on a plane at 33,000 feet.” – Robert Rivers

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.