If at first you don’t succeed… try doing it the way your wife told you.

You could not handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

I am so open-minded, my brains will fall out some day.

I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” – George Bernard Shaw

“When we got married, I told my wife ‘If you leave me, I’m going with you.’ And she never did.” — James Fineous McBride

Before you judge me, try walking a mile in my shoes so you can see how little I care and how good it feels to be a mile away from you.

When you feel she is wrong, slap yourself and read rule number 1 again.

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.

I thought I was indecisive while choosing this photo but now I’m not so sure.

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.

Listening to a wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still, you say: “I agree.”

 All I need is you. (And maybe wine + chocolate, too.)

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.