If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

Birthday candles aren't the only things getting lit this weekend.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.

Who washed and waxed their truck in this lovely 32-degree weather? Yes, that’s right! Me!

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

“If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.” – Benjamin Franklin

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt

The right dress and makeup can make a girl hang in Christmas tree through the happiest times of her life.

If at first you don’t succeed, maybe skydiving isn’t your sport.

Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.

Don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.

I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.

I’m returning your nose dear, I found it in my business.

Good morning beautiful! I hope I didn’t wake you and I’m sorry if I did but I just want to tell you that you’re an amazing and beautiful person and I hope you have a great day!

Before spending time trying to find someone, you must first find yourself.

A human being without a friend is like a tree in a desert.

Congrats on making it o-fish-ial. Now, there are two less fish in the sea.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.