If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

I am not taking a selfie, I am just checking my camera quality.

“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

“There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.” -Linda Grayson

It’s not easy to save money when you have a fat girl’s appetite and a rich person’s shopping mentality.

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Funny how just when you think life can’t get any worse, it suddenly does.

I can’t come to work today. I have to stare at the ceiling and question every decision I’ve ever made.

That moment when you have to leave the clothes you just bought in the trunk of the car because your husband is home.

If you look in the mirror when your eyes are shut, it’s like watching yourself when you’re asleep.

I guess now is a bad time to say I’m not looking for anything serious?

Dear life, when I said, “Can my day get any worse?” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Good morning beautiful! I hope I didn’t wake you and I’m sorry if I did but I just want to tell you that you’re an amazing and beautiful person and I hope you have a great day!

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.