“Insanity is hereditary – you get it from your kids.” – Sam Levenson

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.” – Malcolm Forbes

I drink to make other people more interesting.

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you've got two hands.

“It is difficult, but not impossible, to conduct strictly honest business.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Before you judge me, try walking a mile in my shoes so you can see how little I care and how good it feels to be a mile away from you.

A man says a lot of things in summer he doesn’t mean in winter. – Patricia Briggs

Funny how just when you think life can’t get any worse, it suddenly does.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

I knew I had to make you mine when you laughed at my jokes.

“No one is as lucky as us. We’re not at the end but, but we’ve already won.” — Paramore “Where the Lines Overlap”s

“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michael de Montaigne

Your Kik status says Kik Login Online, if you’re online then why aren’t you texting me.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women. – Groucho Marx

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.