I’ve never been cool and I don’t really care about being cool. It’s just an awful lot of time and hair gel wasted

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.

I hope one day I will love something the way women in commercials love yogurt.

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt

How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife’s clothes

You lost your phone and it’s on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.

“You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.” – Django Unchained

I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night, and your most painful goodbye.

The problem with a rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

Don't tell me you love me. Tell me you're outside with wine.

Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.

“If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” – Elvis Presley

Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.

Anything that could possibly go wrong often does – as well as a thing or two that couldn’t possibly.

Marriage is like a good cardio workout. If it’s never challenging, you’re probably not doing it right.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.