Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

You can tell how much someone likes you by the number of times they show up in your selfies.

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.” – Steven Wright

Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starbust. You are a pink starburst.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Life is like a balloon. If you don’t let go, you’ll never know how high you can rise.

Yesterday I really wanted tacos. Now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams

People say it is hard to find friends, just because best one is with me.

” I don’t like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.” – Joe Louis

The hardest thing being single is finding a reason to shower.

I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite remarkable.

We are born naked, hungry, and wet. Then things just get worse.

All my life I thought the air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.

They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.