Just so we’re clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.

5% of statistics are made up. Like this one

“Happen to things, don’t let things happen to you.” – Stephen Covey

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.

Birthday candles aren't the only things getting lit this weekend.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

See the bowtie? I wear it and I don’t care. That’s why it’s cool

“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale.” – Zig Ziglar

We need to draw the line on unethical behavior. But let’s draw it with an Etch-a-Sketch and don’t be afraid to shake it a little.

“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” –  Bill Cosby

You can tell how much someone likes you by the number of times they show up in your selfies.

hat if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

I can’t come to work today. I have to stare at the ceiling and question every decision I’ve ever made.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

A good place to put inspirational quotes is up to your ass.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.