“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright

I love Instagram because it allows me to maintain a record of my every meal.

I guess now is a bad time to say I’m not looking for anything serious?

“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.” – Judith Viorst

Friendship isn’t about who you know the longest. It’s about who walked into your life and said I’m here for you.

The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”

I know the voices in my head aren’t real… but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

We don’t have a company health plan but we do have a secretary in accounting who claims to be a faith healer.

I got 99 problems, but a bad angle ain't one.

The best kind of wedding is one that leaves your bellies (and hearts) full.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a cell phone

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

“If you are going through hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell?” – Steve Harvey

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not strong enough. Funny enough. Smart enough.

People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.