“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale.” – Zig Ziglar

Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.

“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.” – Jack Benny

“We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.” – Alfred E. Newman

“A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it.” – William Feather

“You’re putting the pussy on a pedestal.” – The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Fill your life with adventures, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.

She's been breaking hearts since [year of birth].

One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.

Every 60 seconds, there's a girl posting a positive message that she doesn't live by.

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

“Happen to things, don’t let things happen to you.” – Stephen Covey

If you set impossible goals you’ll never be disappointed when you fail.

I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny!

When you feel she is wrong, slap yourself and read rule number 1 again.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.