My friends are the family I chose. And I’ve regretted that choice ever since.

Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s actually Tuesday.

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.

“You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” – Hussein Nishah

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

Congrats on making it o-fish-ial. Now, there are two less fish in the sea.

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the filter.

“In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.” – Woody Allen

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” – George Bernard Shaw

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, maybe it really is a duck. Either accept it for what it is or let it go.

I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. I’m Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.

“If you are going through hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell?” – Steve Harvey

“They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late.” —Kanye West, “Start It Up”

Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.