My teacher pointed to me with his ruler and said At the end of this ruler there is an idiot! … I got detention after asking which end!

These two weirdos are perfect for each other.

“Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham

Good morning beautiful! I hope I didn’t wake you and I’m sorry if I did but I just want to tell you that you’re an amazing and beautiful person and I hope you have a great day!

Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. – Kellie Elmore

“Oh no, my toddler got my phone, took this perfectly posed (but candid!)

You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents

I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband does when the baby’s not sleeping.

I have to be successful because I love expensive shit.

We don’t have a company health plan but we do have a secretary in accounting who claims to be a faith healer.

Shutting the fuck up is gluten-free. Add that to your diet.

Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.

Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

“Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” – Ray Kroc

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!

You’d have a big ego too, if you were as great as I am.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.