Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them.

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” – Maya Angelou

I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through 47 walls, and haunt our enemies.

What do you call a thieving alligator? A Crocodile

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” – Lily Tomlin

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

“Time made me stronger, you’re no longer on my mind” ― Boyz II Men

Some days my kids can do no wrong. Other days I understand why some animals eat their young.

My teacher pointed to me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there is an idiot!”…”I got detention after asking which end!

Time to drink champagne and dance on the tables.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

You can’t buy a business but you can buy a plane ticket and that’s kind of the same thing.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

Think of how stupid the average person is. And realize half of them are stupider than that.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.