Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starburst. You’re a pink Starburst.

If summer had one defining scent, it’d definitely be the smell of barbecue. – Katie Lee

The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.

I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate … but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.

Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.

I have two speeds. If you don’t like this one, you’re definitely not going to like the other one.

Finding friends with the same level of crazy is priceless.

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” – George Bernard Shaw

You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.

I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.

“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.” – Judith Viorst

I’d give a fuck but I already gave it to your mother last night when you’re downie eat a brownie.

“Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

“Happen to things, don’t let things happen to you.” – Stephen Covey

There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy…like nailing jelly to a tree for example.

You’ll lose a lot of money chasing women but you’ll never lose women chasing money.

I hate it when I gain10 lbs for a role and then I realize I am not even an actor.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.