“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” – Bill Cosby

If at first you don’t succeed… try doing it the way your wife told you.

Lifehack #321: Keep cake fresh by eating it in one sitting.

This girl is on fire! No really, my muscles are burning from all the exercising I did.

I’m always in a better place with you. Thanks for cleaning up.

“Things worth having are worth waiting for.” – Me, preheating the oven.
Diet tip: Don’t.

There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work n Mondays.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy

Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After ten years you need a club and a spade.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.

When I was a baby, an evil fairy cursed me with expensive taste and no money.

“Put some Windex on it.” – My Big Fat Greek Wedding

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

We need to draw the line on unethical behavior. But let’s draw it with an Etch-a-Sketch and don’t be afraid to shake it a little.

“You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.” – Django Unchained

Whoever thinks money doesn’t bring happiness, transfer it over to my account.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.