People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

Life is like a toilet paper. Either you’re on a roll or you’re taking shit from asshole.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, maybe it really is a duck. Either accept it for what it is or let it go.

Look behind you see any eager faces, waiting for your next post? I thought not.

“My father taught me a good lesson: Don’t get too low when things go wrong. And don’t get too high when things are good.” – Robert Perish

Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.

Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. – Nora Ephron

“For a guy with a four-digit IQ, I must have missed something.” – Limitless

“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” – Cindy Garner

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “Unstable”.

I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find!

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face

There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

You know she is your best friend when she helps you plan your non-existent wedding.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

Every day may not be good but there’s good in every day.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.