People who act like they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

“Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water!” – Eleanor Roosevelt

My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.

“For a long and happy marriage, my advice to the groom is to always say, “okay, buy it!”

“Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.” – Woody Allen

I could never in a hundred summers get tired of this. – Susan Branch

What if the princess wants to be with Bowser but Mario keeps kidnapping her.

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.

You’ll lose a lot of money chasing women but you’ll never lose women chasing money.

Some days I amaze myself. Today is not one of those days.

Life is like a toilet paper. Either you’re on a roll or you’re taking shit from asshole.

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A may-bee… I’m a maybe

You don’t have to be crazy to be my best friend, but if you’re not, you probably wouldn’t want to be friends with me anyway.

“Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.” – Adrienne Gusoff

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.