Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you, too. So we’re even.

Throughout, your life can find a person who never gets bore with your talks.

“Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.” – Robert Bloch

Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s not worth the jail time.

If summer had one defining scent, it’d definitely be the smell of barbecue. – Katie Lee

When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.

“I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?” – Meet the Parents

“There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.” -Linda Grayson

Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.

You know she is your best friend when she helps you plan your non-existent wedding.

You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents

I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.

What's a queen without her king? Historically speaking, more powerful.

If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.

Marriage is finding the person who puts up with your shit, admires your weird little ways, and still says they love you at the end of the day.

“Happen to things, don’t let things happen to you.” – Stephen Covey

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.