Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. Go and find him. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck on an island, or something.

Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s not worth the jail time.

99% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it.

That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.

One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.

“Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

“You’re putting the pussy on a pedestal.” – The 40-Year-Old Virgin

“I think I’m getting sick.” The most dreaded words a wife can hear from her husband.

The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive. – Coco Chanel

Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies.

It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me.

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

“Girl, you can’t get no infection in your booty hole! It’s a booty hole!” – Girls Trip

“Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham

Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

“I go to the gym because clearly my amazing personality deserves a body to go with it.”

“Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” – Ray Kroc

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.