“The only time I feel light-hearted is when I’m on a plane at 33,000 feet.” – Robert Rivers

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door

“It’s complicated—our drink order, that is. The relationship is great!”

The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a cell phone

“Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.” — Jay Leno

Don't count the years — make the years count.

“I think I’m getting sick.” The most dreaded words a wife can hear from her husband.

You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.

Have you posed by a naked statue today? No, your garden gnome doesn’t count

If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?

Life is like a toilet paper. Either you’re on a roll or you’re taking shit from asshole.

“Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.” – Samuel Johnson

My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos, and sweatpants.

I’ve never been cool and I don’t really care about being cool. It’s just an awful lot of time and hair gel wasted

“Why cake? It’s somebody’s birthday somewhere!”

A human being without a friend is like a tree in a desert.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.