The reason women will never be the ones to propose is that as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping. Men will be men.

“We broke up for religious reasons—he believed he was God and I didn’t.”

I was thinking of you and feeling fortunate that life brought us together and made “BEST FRIENDS”.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

The only difference between men and boys is the size of their shoes and the price of their toys.

Got a new phone today, my old phone failed the swimming test.

I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive. – Coco Chanel

I love Instagram because it allows me to maintain a record of my every meal.

If you can't remember my name, just say, 'chocolate' and I'll turn around.

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde

Whoever thinks money doesn’t bring happiness, transfer it over to my account.

Old enough that I need a filter on this photo.

Giving men marriage tips is a little like offering Vikings a free booklet titled ‘How not to Pillage’.

People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.

You never know what you have until you clean your room.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.