There are 100 billion nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

I hope you dance like no one’s watching because they’re not—they’re taking selfies.

To all my friends that I promised I’d never post a cheesy couples pic: Keep scrolling.

Don’t let anyone rent a space in your head unless they’re a good tenant.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

The biggest challenge in life is being yourself…in a world trying to make you like everyone else.

I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

Not all girls are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. Some are made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.

I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn’t bother to report it because the thief spreads less than my life.

You’ll lose a lot of money chasing women but you’ll never lose women chasing money.

“You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.” – Django Unchained

I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror

If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?

It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.