“Things worth having are worth waiting for.” – Me, preheating the oven.
Diet tip: Don’t.

I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the 8-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ … I’ll turn around.

“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? – Jean Illsley Clarke

A human being without a friend is like a tree in a desert.

When your “Mom Voice” is so loud that even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every Saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.

“Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?” -Ray Kroc

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.

The hardest thing being single is finding a reason to shower.

I want somebody to look at me the way my dog looks at food.

We need to draw the line on unethical behavior. But let’s draw it with an Etch-a-Sketch and don’t be afraid to shake it a little.

Clean eating journal. Day 1: I am a goddess and my body is a temple. Day 3: Well, that was fun.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.