We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I’ll pick you up… after I finish laughing.

“Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” – Thomas Dewar

We need to draw the line on unethical behavior. But let’s draw it with an Etch-a-Sketch and don’t be afraid to shake it a little.

If you can't remember my name, just say, 'chocolate' and I'll turn around.

I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night, and your most painful goodbye.

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Emma Bombeck

One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong-willed. But that will not be today. Not in this grocery store.

Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s not worth the jail time.

“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale.” – Zig Ziglar

“Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” – Paulo Coelho

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? – Retired

My demons hide in my loudness. So if you don’t want the evil to come out, don’t shut me down in a very sarcastic manner.

She's been breaking hearts since [year of birth].

Every 60 seconds, there’s a bitch posting a positive message that she doesn’t live by.

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry.” –  Bill Cosby

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.