What’s a queen without her king? Historically speaking, more powerful.

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” – Lily Tomlin

“When we got married, I told my wife ‘If you leave me, I’m going with you.’ And she never did.” — James Fineous McBride

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. – Rita Rudner

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together. — A.R. Asher

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

I know you’re a man so you have to do the whole “It’s nothing,” thing… but I really wish you’d share your feelings so I could invalidate them.

Finding friends with the same level of crazy is priceless.

I have two speeds. If you don’t like this one, you’re definitely not going to like the other one.

If there would be an award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me!

You are a serious rock star, but you need much more efforts to start my rock.

“Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.” — Jay Leno

You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.