When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.

“Love is like a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

“An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.” – Laurence J. Peter

The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.

Hey girl, I like the way we finish each others, sandwiches.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot todo.

“Nobody has tried to swallow us since I’ve been here. I think they are afraid how we would taste.” – Steve Jobs

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Well, well, well. Look what finally decided to show up. Hello Friday!

Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life, you can barely remember what life was like without them.

You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”

If we learn from our mistakes, shouldn’t I try to make as many mistakes as possible?

Think of how stupid the average person is. And realize half of them are stupider than that.

Life is like a balloon. If you don’t let go, you’ll never know how high you can rise.

You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.

My teacher pointed to me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there is an idiot!”…”I got detention after asking which end!

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.