Instagram Captions Category:
Share:
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
We don’t have a company health plan but we do have a secretary in accounting who claims to be a faith healer.
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
“Live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” – Will Rogers
“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” – Barbara Streisand
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
If summer had one defining scent, it’d definitely be the smell of barbecue. – Katie Lee
“Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
“And I’m a bad boy ’cause I don’t even miss her. I’m a bad boy for breakin her heart”― Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
You know you’ve grown a lot as a parent when you watch your kid lick something in public and think, “Eh. He’s licked worse.”
“It’s not a man-purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.” – The Hangover
For me being in math class is like watching a foreign language movie without any subtitles.
Don’t know where the kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they’ll show up quickly.
When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.
You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.
Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.
There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them.
Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train.
The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.
One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.
To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.
We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment.
The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.
